When I grow up…

8 10 2008

Amy got me thinking.  I’d love to hear back from all of you.







What did you want to be when you grew up?

What do you want to be when you grow up?








I wanted to be a dancer, publisher, businesswoman, or the first woman president.

Now, I’d like to be Director of Marketing for a big magazine at Condé Nast.
Resume available upon request. 😉


I started

25 09 2008

a post on the evolution of my awesome music taste through the ages. Unfortunately, I sounded a bit like a prat. I started to rework it and sounded like a loser. *tear* Maybe someday I’ll post it. In any case, my music taste is awesome.

last.fm: lashambles13

The Boss is gone today (yay!) and already Indie is chatting at me. For those of you unfamilar with Indie, go here for the summary paragraph. Strangely enough, I’m kinda tired of chatting with him. We still talk (on meebo or txting – forever our only link of conversation) at least once a week. He still makes me laugh harder than most. But I think I’ve gotten bored of the 10am “boner” txts and many of our meebo chats turn to drawn out small talk. I guess I’m just bored. huh. I told him I’m in a mtg & unavailable. Now I feel a little guilty.



So did you guys watch Bush’s address last night? I’ve got to be honest, he scared me. Throughout the week I’ve heard murmurs of discomfort in the financial sector with a new proposal to ‘save’ our economy. The speech topped it off. I called home and my genius father explained it all to me.

Now jury is still out on my vote for the Election. Bush invited both candidates to DC to join in the discussion on how to fix the financial crisis. McCain asked to delay Friday’s debate in order to focus temporarily on this. “Speaking to reporters in New York, McCain said he would suspend his campaign to work on banking legislation, saying President Bush’s proposed $700 billion bailout appeared unlikely to pass.” msnbc.com

and Obama replied with: “It’s going to be part of the president’s job to be able to deal with more than one thing at once.” msnbc.com

which I agree with, but… doesn’t that sound a little petty? I mean it sounded to me like Washington was all “hey let’s bring everybody together to show bipartisanship and figure this fucker out.” It’s not like McCain said “Er, geez I’m just not prepared enough for the debate. Can we delay so I can study more?”

Alright, argue with me. Do you agree it sounded a little petty?

13 08 2008

I was flipping thru my journal – you know, the papercopy I cheat on this blog with – and came across an entry with the quote:

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.
– George Eliot (aka Mary Ann Evans)

I’ve been thinking along those lines recently. It’s inspired me to take up some of the things I’ve never pursued because of a fear of failure in the eyes of my peers.

I’ve never been so excited to make an ass outa myself.  Can’t wait to report back.  🙂


Readers:  Anything you want to do but haven’t had the guts to try?

Damsel in Distress vs. Independent Woman

4 04 2008

 Is it possible to be both?

Lately, my dreams have been stranger than usual.  Yes, I remember almost all my dreams.  Yes, I dream every night.  That may be strange in itself.  However, they normally play out like normal days with a few minor changes – such that sometimes I cant tell what was dreamt and what actually happened.  In the last 2 wks though, I’ve dreamt of:

  • Heavy metal band in a 12 person muddy moshpit w/ couches
  • A giant Koala
  • Strange purple dresses
  • Flying brooms

(Bear with me. I have a point.)

Do you dream the same dream ever?  Mine repeat a lot with little changes – it’s like rereading those books with multiple endings.  The latest repeating one… dancing at Cush with friends, being insulted by some random guy, stalking out, he accosts me at the exit & hits me.  Here’s where it changes each time.  Sometimes, I hit back and run.  Others, my guy friends (mysteriously hiding in the backdrop) leap to my defense.  And last night, I just sat down and cried.

In some ways, I’d like to have that boyfriend or guy friend stand up for me.  It isn’t out of a want to act weak and helpless.  Rather, I’d like to see that they would – that presented with such a situation – they’d come to my rescue.

But I don’t need saving.  I can rescue myself.

Chatting with my guy friends, I’ve gotten the impression that many guys like to be the Protector.  Yet, they have difficultly with a crying girl.  And feel emasculated by an independent woman who doesn’t need a strong man to keep her feeling safe.

Where is the median?  I don’t cry or freak out often enough to warrant a damsel in distress.  I don’t usually give anyone the chance to standup for me.  But I love having someone else be the stronger one – both physically & emotionally – because they make me feel safe.

Thoughts? Personal conflicts? Weirdass dreams to share?

I love guests!

3 04 2008

Bit scattered as of late.  Completely bogged down with work.  Gonna have to bring stuff home tonight to work on or it will never be done. blah.  Thank god for late night coffee shops, right?

Visitors this wkend!

Vegas is in 1 WEEK!!! I haven’t been there since I was thirteen. Therefore, I’m clueless about the city.  Any of you who have been there – what should we do/see?  There are 6 girls – completely ridiculous partiers.  Thoughts? Suggestions?

Birthday (belated) Party the following wkend! Gotta plan…

Main Topic:

WiscoBlonde is coming to visit!!! Ooooo I’m psyched! I love having people over. Especially for the wkend when all workness can be forgotten.  Seriously, it is one of my absolute favorite things.  I’m a bit too casual to be a great tourguide / siteseer.  So I love it when people can feel comfortable just making themselves at home.  Even if it is just using the apt as a homebase while running about the city.  Love it! Ooo I love company. 

Now I just have to go home and make sure the apt is clean.


18 02 2008

Considering all the issues, conflicts, problems that affect our world today….

If you could fix just one, what would it be?  Darfur? Global warming? Starving children in Africa? Gangs? Wars? Legal systems? Healthcare? Foreign aid? Something local? or something far away?  What’s important to you?


11 01 2008

Alright kids, after some serious soul searching (that’s right, I just spent a whole 8 minutes in the car with Radiohead) I have come to some more serious conclusions.

To begin with:  Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all.

Good question.  What do you think?  I know most of you are the loved/lost type, but I’m not.  I chalk it up to the commitment-phobe in me.  But really I’ve never gotten over my fear of rejection.  Not that I’ve ever really been rejected.  But, yea, there’s a long angst-ridden melodramatic story on that.  Not now.  Maybe later.

Stay with me on this for a moment.

Is it better for me to finish this delectable slice of Starbucks Blueberry Coffee Cake or throw it away?  If I finish it, I’m sure the 400lbs of pure fat will immediately jumped to my butt.  (boobs too. they always seem to get bigger. ugh.) I can slowly savor every last mouthful of this dessert, but then I will walk around with that baggage for as long as possible.  OR I could throw it out and just gaze longingly at it every time I visit Starbucks.*

At least in Choice #2 I don’t have all the baggage trailing after me.  Do you see what I’m getting at?

Currently I’m chillin in a great place in my life.  I have family, friends, health, wealth… all that you need right?  Except, like everyone else, I get a little lonely from time to time.  Now I know what you’re gonna say, “you gotta just put yourself out there.”  Well, I’m not really looking to have anyone right now.  I’m just confused.

I think I’m broken.  I haven’t had a REAL crush** in a year and a half.  Why not?!  I can’t even really enjoy the random makeouts much.  (I can’t speak for my blackedout self here) but I haven’t actually liked any one of the guys I’ve kissed since… oh god.  I’m not even admitting that here.  Anyway, all I’m saying is I don’t kiss guys I like because I haven’t liked any in a really long time (with the exception of Indie, and it’s not like that went anywhere).

And what’s worse, I’ve been going through some… mental issues… as in, “hey let’s makeout!”  lalalala… (5mins later)  “okay I’m bored, please stop.”  Where is this boredom coming from???  I feel nothing.  No excitement, no tingles.  Just nothing.

So it makes me think:  Put myself out there to be rejected?  By who? Should I jump into throng of it all and flirt up every guy I meet?  Hell no. That’s how I end up in the corner, not alone but definitely bored.  How do you find a meaningful friendship or relationship in the bar scene?  Or where do you go?

Please, tell me I’m lame, agree/disagree, commiserate, yell… whatever the fuck you want just so I don’t feel like I’m the only one hearing this.

*for the record I only ate ½ of it
**sounds so childish!