Twilight by way of the Fug Girls

19 11 2008

I’m so psyched for the Twilight movie coming out. Seriously. I practically inhaled the books (3x) and can’t wait to see what Hardwicke throws at us. However, like Brandy, I can’t help but laugh at some of the ridiculousness of the book. This leads right into the insanity that surrounds the film & its stars. That said, I just HAD to repost this.

(Fug Girls, I love you desperately for making each day a little bit funnier. Please don’t hate me for spreading your joy! Love, Grace)

November 19, 2008
Fug file:  dialogue, Twilight

Edward & Bella

Edward & Bella

ROBERT PATTINSON: Hello, my angel. [Snicker] I see you managed to get here without breaking any bones. [Chuckle]

KRISTEN STEWART: You know, we wrapped the movie a long time ago. You can break character and stop with the condescending laughter.

ROBERT: No, I can’t. It’s the hair. The unruly, slightly oily Edward hair that’s damp with the sweat of restraint and clammy lust. They won’t let me cut it, and it OWNS me. Is your dress made of sweatshirts?

KRISTEN: They haven’t said you can’t SHOWER, though. Maybe you’re just clammy because all your clothes look a tiny bit tight. And I think your shoe is untied. And, you know, the whole “you need to shower” thing.

ROBERT: God, your blood smells magical. Like sparkles and sunshine and fine wine. I must watch you sleep.

KRISTEN: Do you people see what I have had to put up with? Do you?

ROBERT: Oh, Bella. I love you. I may kill you. You don’t know.

KRISTEN: Not Bella. Kristen. Cameras are not rolling. Lord. I give you two months, tops, before all this breaks you.

ROBERT: You intoxicate me. I AM DANGER. Why do you not fear me, human?

KRISTEN: Oh, I fear you, all right. Trust.





7 responses

19 11 2008

Oh, how I loved this. My new favourite line: “I AM DANGER”.

20 11 2008

Ha I love that website. I think the casting on this movie is eerie because all these people totally look like they should be in vampire movies.

20 11 2008
Jonah K. Haslap

Sigh. I wish vampires were real. Then I wouldn’t be the pastiest guy in my office.

20 11 2008
here it is, i want to save money and buy it for my mother.

21 11 2008

Haha, great spoof!

21 11 2008
Dutchess of Kickball

OMG that’s great!

21 11 2008

I’m glad you all loved it too! It cracks me up even now on the 80millionth read.

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