killer cockroach

15 09 2008

There are few things that’ll have me jumping atop a chair screaming. Very few. Snakes? Mice? No problem. Bugs? ugh. Spiders larger than an inch have me running. Centipeds make me shudder. But I’d never before seen a cockroach. (they move FAST) I’m a big girl and can take care of myself for the most part. I don’t freakout often.

In fact, prior to the recent roach incident, I have only jumped up on a chair in fear once before. That was years ago when Teddy’s cat snuck into the room where we were studying. What?! I was startled.

The Roach showed up late at night last week. I might have shreaked, got completely hysterical, & called my mother. That’s right. After deducing I was not in a car wreck, earthquake, or Armageddon, she asked what my plan was. “Call Mom?” I hadn’t thought any further than that. Moms fix everything. Soo….

It was kind of her not to laugh. Until I insisted cockroaches are “unkillable.” I swear to god I thought they were too tough to kill. Maybe it’s all those commercials where they get smacked, get up, & walk away. She stopped laughing though when I refused to sleep in my apartment with him there. My wonderful, roach-free car was looking like an excellent option.

She questioned my maturity. I grew a backbone and took action.

I trapped him under the fridge with my awesome scare tactics (read: jumping & freakingout). Then I sealed all sides of the fridge w/ a combination of deconstructed cardboard boxes & packing tape. There was a trip downstairs to bring my manager up to fix the problem. He sprayed under the fridge a bit and told me they’d had a roach problem there in the past (um HELLO? say WHA?) but thought it had been taken care of. I started hysterically wondering if Freddie (the roach I just named) was gonna be a roommate for my entire 8 months. The manager said he’d bring in the Pesticide guys the next morning. Just minutes after he left, Freddie came zooming out from under the fridge. I went to town on him.

For the record, roachs can be killed with a sturdy cardboard tupe wielded like a baseball bat. Screaming helps.

R.I.P.  Freddie

R.I.P. Freddie




2 responses

15 09 2008

AHhhhhhhhH! That would NOT be okay with me.

Fast-moving bugs are unpredictable and must be managed in a planned, coordinated attack. Or squeals.

11 11 2008
150 « Cassette45

[…] back so I’m counting it. Grad school here I come!) 131. Parasailed 132. Touched a cockroach (it was horrible) 133. Eaten fried green tomatoes (umm… i thought that was a movie?) 134. Read The Iliad and […]

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