Cause I’m a Ninja

22 08 2008

or a street punk. But really, I’m that super dangerous vandal/thief/puppy killer. Right? Right? I totallllllly look it.

Adventures in the City: Episode #3

Time for the big reveal:
I’ve been teaching myself to skateboard. Seriously. At 22.

Sometime after moving to the city, I realized that all that crap about needing to start young was, well, crap. Sure I’ll never be the next Ryan Sheckler. (*swoon* hey, he’s only 4 yrs younger. I think) But who cares?

My younger brother gave me his old board, and I love it. It already has that worn look that makes me look kickass when I carry it around. Just as long as no one sees me actually attempt to roll down the street… I’m psyched. I’ve been picking up on it really quickly. I feel like a little kid out there just vrrrrooooming back and forth down the street. yes. I do ‘vrrrooom’

But apparently, I’m a menace. I understand that life in the city requires a certain amount of caution. We have murders, drive-bys & crazies. The need for caution seems to give license to stereotyping – all for the sake of safety. But I am the least intimidating looking person ever. Even with a skateboard, I’m more Darla than Spanky*

The Week in Review:

Day 1
The streets near my apartment are crap and busybusybusy. So I biked** 2miles to a smoother & emptier block. I chain up my old school schwinn to a No Parking sign and roll down the block. I’m not nervous. I’ve been watching videos all weekend of 7 yr olds explaining How-To. If they can do it, I can.

why can’t I have an awesome accent?

Apparently skateboarding in this particular street is unheard of. The houseies are all cramped up inside peeking out their windows wondering what kind of crazy is outside. Believe me. I’VE SEEN THEM. They peek out regularly to make sure I’m not breaking in across the street. A woman stood watching me from behind her screendoor for several long minutes (as I tripped all over myself trying to stay on my feet) before closing the front door and clicking the 20million deadlocks across. So… streetpunk/vandal seems to be the impression I’m giving. Who me?!?! How can they be suspicious? I suck! This is (quite obviously) my first time ever on a skateboard.

Ahhh. I get it. They totally see through this ‘skateboarder’ facade. I can’t fool them. I’m totally there to just tag their walls with shit like “Kanye Rocks!” or “Marilyn Manson is my God” or whatever. Because that’s what we skatepunks do. Right? We’re bad news. I’m bringing down the neighborhood.

Funny thing, I was a goody-goody & teacher’s pet through all my years of school. So this is crazyweird. The little girl scout in me wants to knock on all their doors and hand out my sweetass resume just so they respect & adore me. “See!!! I’m a good girl! I love people. I have a job! I’m responsible and friendly. Would you like to order some thin mints?” *innocent eyes & big grin*

Day 2
I didn’t get out ’til after 8pm due to my guitar lesson after work. (Learning Seaside by the Kooks!) I picked up the nearest smoothest block and rocked it! Even popped an Ollie!!!

Day 3
Roomie randomly showed up back at the apt, borrowed my clothes and did an interview in the city for a PR firm. huh. ummm… We ended up going to dinner & chillin. No boarding (or is it skating? or rolling?) tonight. Little brother told me I might want to get the shocks looked at. Shocks? What are shocks??? Must google that…

Day 4
I lied. After reviewing more footage, it has been determined that I didn’t do an Ollie on Tuesday. That was… uh… not really sure. But I did one today! Two in fact – weak – but two!!!

I has skillz
I has skillz

However, I did fall twice on my ass. Full out sprawl on the street. Both times it was a matter of one foot staying on the board and the other getting left behind… far far behind. In good news, I learned I can do the splits. In bad news, OMFG!!!!! That is gonna hurt tomorrow!

Did I mention I ripped a 3in hole in my sock? From one of the falls. woah. all through the heel. With my shoes still on…

Day 5
I hurt everywhere. Can’t wait to get back out tonight!

The End. For now.

* Little Rascals – ppplease tell me you got that
** bike? with a skateboard? loser much?

p.s. – A big thank you to cleveland’s a plum who so publicly announced her Ryan Sheckler crush. I’m no longer embarassed to admit mine. He’s just so damn adorable!

Ryan Sheckler @ AST Dew Tour

Ryan Sheckler @ AST Dew Tour