Chapter Closed. Officially

29 02 2008

Ok kids. I waited out the whole week to write about this Indie thing.  I’m glad I did.

The crush is over. I’m cured. 

I have refrained from starting a conversation with him all week because I don’t like needy/clingy people (and was afraid I was becoming one).  It was weird to go so long without talking to him. I hadn’t realized how little I talk to anyone else.  Needless to say, the week was quiet. 

Late last night he aimed me and our random jokes turned to the topic of Winter Carnival and how drunk everyone was.  Finally unable to hold it in any longer (I’d been hopeing to talk in person) I asked him if he remembered kissing me.  Early I would’ve said “all signs point to yes,” but his comments in the conversation were making me wonder.  His answer? “whoa. lol no. sorry.”  huh. ok. Then my google aim shut down.  So I signed on to meebo so as not to look offended/crushed we spoke a few more words before meebo kicked me off too. 

Roomie and I chatted about it for a bit.  I had told her the wkend after the kiss that, crazy as it sounds, I felt like part of me got a little closure with the kiss and what he
said.  It was a relief to know I hadn’t imagined it all. But with the kiss, part of me still held out hope that there could be something more.  Well after last night, I feel a lot better.  I think I had been stressing enough before that after finding out he didnt remember… I’m really not all that tossed about it.  Yea, I’m a little disappointed that THE kiss – the only one worth much to me – the guy was too drunk to remember. Ah well, I’ve been on both sides of that blackout before.

So in summary, feeling relieved and surprisingly happy. I’m not as torn up about it as I expected to be. good.  You’re all right, I need to crush on someone who fits what I’m looking for and not comprise those things important to me – like communication.  Least now I’m not stuck on anyone and have a chance to finally enjoy being single.