Under Pressure

22 02 2008

I hate pressure.  Peer pressure.  I’m horrible with it.

I try very very hard not to put other people in a position where they feel pressured to do something.  Usually, I even provide possible excuses they can opt for to get the easy way out.  I don’t usually guilt people into doing things.

For Example:  This weekend my roomie & I are hosting people for drinks and just hangingout for a bit before hitting the bars.  I have held my tongue millions of times to try not to push people into coming.  Like my girls. Who are reading this.  I know I have put a little eensy bit of pressure on you to come because, well, you hardly visit. Which is understandable. You’re busy people.  However, I feel that this backfired a bit on me… as we invited a lot of people and so far only 5 are coming… besides us. 

The real reason I really hate peer pressure though is because I got it a lot as a kid.  Instead of giving in eventually, I became THAT KID.  You know the one. The pushover.  Now, you can find me drunk being hit on by a kinda random – such as Greekboy – who says “hey, I want to makeout with you.” “hmm I dont want to.” “seriously. let’s go back to my place.” “fine.”   See? I follow directions. Specifically when I’m drunk.  Horribly.  Tell me to walk out in the street. I will. Tell me to follow you. I will.  Tell me to do anything.  I will. So afraid this is gonna get me in trouble one of these days.  lol.  I’m such a confident person when the least amount of liquor touches my lips.  I’ll walk home. Through the city.  Anywhere.  I feel untouchable… invincible…

Soooo I don’t care if you’re curious. I just have to share:  Indie

I’ve been doing really well not overly talking about him.  I’ve really held my tongue.  Roomie will prolly cut it out though if I see him and nothing happens.  She’s gotten the brunt of it.  And bless her soul, she’s been cheery, happy, & encouraging the whole time.  Thank god for cousins.

Indie was sick earlier this week and only answered “I might” when I asked if he might come to the party on Saturday. I have kept my cool for the most part. (Although there have been minor panics of “I dreamed it! I dreamed it all!”)  I didn’t want to ask too often because that much pressure is annoying (hence the earlier topic).  But I DID want to know. And if he couldn’t I wanted to know why.  That’s just me.  I need details.  He is more of the yes/no fact/fiction variety.  No need for unnecessaries.  So I knew that he’d tell me if he could or couldnt in due course. 

We talked every single day since tech.  Just joking around.  I was figureing he was leaning towards No because he had been sick at the beginning of the wk (i was too ugh).  HOWEVER. I couldnt hold it in anymore and asked today if he was coming.  Apparently his parents are in town (he told me that earlier… I had just forgotten they were going to visit) but if they left saturday he was definitely driving over. FUCK YES.  That’s all I needed.  That extra reassurance that this isnt all in my head.

Now if you think I’m cracked, eh; he and I are on the same wavelength for this stuff.  And I dont care what you think.  Ok fine I do.  But I’m right. I know I’m right.  And thank the fucking heavens roomie hasnt killed me yet.  Thank you karma! I’m being good. I promise!




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