bug off

4 02 2008

No patience today. None. Actually, haven’t had any for the past week or so. Part of me wants to curl up and feel very guilty about it, but that’s a very small part. Really I just want to get angry, stomp my feet, curse loudly, and maybe a little fist pounding. The slightest thing sets me off, and I just feel like dropping a “fuck you” and walking away.

Going through a bit of rough right now. Roomie brought up FuturePlans last week and really got me thinking. She hates her job. This will be officially her 4th wk as an intern at a PR firm where she works 3 days a wk. Not really enough time to decide you hate it in my opin, but she’s rather impulsive. She is considering rejecting the offer of a fulltime, non-internship position at the PR firm in April, becoming a camp counselor in Alaska for the summer and then doing Americorp from September on. huh. Ok

I’m not mad she might move out in April. Our lease is already up and we’re just paying each month as it comes. I always knew there was the possibility she’d go. In fact, I find myself looking around the place and noteing that “in my own apt I’ll… throw my magazines anywhere, leave my knitting in the living room, use one extra closet just for my extra shoes so I can find them more easily…”

I just kinda hate not knowing if/when for reasons. Example: We need curtains in our living rm desperately. After much talk and compromise, I am buying / sewing the ceiling to floor curtains which she wanted Kelly Green, I wanted in dark red, and we compromised at peacock blueish green. We’re kicking out the brown and gold I already had in there for silver and charcoal-ish brown (the rug she bought). If we were gonna be hanging in there for an indeterminate amount of time, I’d have been to every website and fabric store available. But with the idea that she may move out in 2month, I don’t want to pay $150 to sew up curtains I wished were red. Just the pouty child in me.

The condos going up down the street are prolly gonna raise the marketvalue of the apts so I’m kinda hopeing that whenever she does move out, it’s not just when they finish the condos, and I can still find a nice 1 bedrm in my building. We’ll see. Suppose it will be a lot lonelier without her though. About time though that I grow up and learn to be alone contently.

In the meantime, I’m sucking down water and devouring all the pictures from Fashion Week (one of my favorite times!) and my 2008 obsessions: Face Hunter and, of course, The Sartorialist. Maybe someday I’ll fulfill my dream of becoming a photographer. *sigh* Someday.

As if life cant get crazy enough, the 3 workerbees from 2 summers back (Indie, me, & the ever happy LP) will ALL be up in Upper this wkend for Winter Carnival. Now that a bit ridic. ‘specially since we weren’t planning on seeing each other, haven’t talked about it, and – oh yea – I only figured out will all be there through the Facestalk. Man do I feel creepy. Thank you newsfeed.