13 03 2007

Tomorrow is killing me. Already. fuck that. I have French, Business Capstone, and Corporate Finance midterms ALL TOMORROW. okay so technically today since it’s 1am. Seriously? Seriously. not cool.

And on top of that, major confusion on the guyfront. I’ve been actually kinda lonely most of the weekend when I’m by myself bc Patriots was too busy to talk. I missed talking. But now I’m really confused. IndieGuy started talking to me today and it was ridic per usual. Pretty sophomoric humor. I cant help but wonder if the only reasons I’m confused about Patriots and thinking that I might perhaps be interested in him is due to my need for attention. The reason I’m on about this is bc I was sitting at my favourite coffee hotspot and wishing I could txt him just to have someone to talk to like usual. Normal right? except txting would be out of the ordinary for us. V.much so. I’m sitting there thinking about how fun it would be to carry on a txting convo while he’s wherever – class and whatnot. That’s when it occurs to me that the type of conversation I was wanting is nothing along the lines of ones we had. In fact, it’s the type I would have with IndieBoy. The type I used to have with IndieBoy.

Am I merely trying to subconsciously fit Patriots into the mould of the guy I miss?

After talking to both of them tonight, I was left wanting. I had nothing much to say to Patriots. It’s as if my never ending random thoughts suddenly dried up. Whereas IndieGuy and I were having a great laugh over memories of last summer, frenching, working, hairy smelly bear sex, etc. Disgusting? yes. Fun? fuckingamazing. Il faut je le vois. Je l’aime. fuck.

Maybe one drunken makeout would cure me. great. Have to wait how many months until we MIGHT be in the same place at the same time? 3? And this is when? Sometime between him getting home and me moving away? notfuckingfun.

UPDATE:  So after one hellish week of almost no talking to Patriots I figured the game was up and I lost. Still unsure of what I thought I lost. I was actually a bit pissed at his sudden lack of interest. (yeayea. attentionwhore here.) Then he ends the week with this:
Patriots: You rock…you got me through this whole week of hell!!!! Thank you and have a great day….we will talk later!

…uhhh okay… my not talking to you really helped that much? cool…

UPDATE (again): so… news… Patriots is back together with his ex. And I feel… nothing. A bit bored but I think thats because I’ve been sitting alone in the house for too long.  Well, at least we know I didn’t like him.




One response

14 12 2007
Free at Last « Cassette45

[…] at Last 14 12 2007 Good News Kids. I’ve spoken to IndieGuy a few more times without heartflutters & whatnot. Just friends joking around. I have missed […]

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