GossipGirl, bring on the hotties!

Last night I joined a gym. Yay me. It’s just 2blocks from my apt, and I know that since I’m paying $40 a month I’ll feel obligated to go. Plus, all the cardio machines have brand new LCD tv screens with CABLE!!! 75 channels!!! That’s 71 more than I get at my apt. Sweet. I’ll just have to schedule to go to the gym whenever my favorite show are on. That’ll get me off the couch and away from the kitchen.

Oooo did anyone see Gossip Girl? I think I’m in love. Haha I never liked the OC because of how overdramatic they all were but I’m loving this show. Maybe it’s all the Chanel & Prada but yum! AND Penn Badgley - HOT. Ever time he speaks I melt a little. Love his voice. I’ll just have to make sure I’m working out ever Wednesday when it’s on otherwise I’ll be eating chocolate at home wishing I had a boy.

Which reminds me, I’ve had chocolate in addition to my normal food all week since I’m pms-ing… considering that the only thing i’ve changed in what I eat… I might have a slight intolerance to the stuff. How shit would that be. If I become intolerant of dark chocolate I will cry. Swear to God.

I am WAY too good for you!

fucker. Coming from a small city with a small town attitude, I tend to be naive to the max. However, it wasn’t til recent that this really hit home.

It’s funny how it works, isn’t it? You can be going along for a while thinking everything thing is hummingbirds and cupcakes and then it just hits you like a brick wall. My anger trigger was a guy who has been pestering me for months now to hook up. Everything about him pisses me off - but he’s friends of a friend and I still have to see him from time to time in their company. Okay so we made out. So a little less than sex was involved. I was drunk beyond drunk. This constant texting me has got to stop.

Txting last night for a booty call (again!) I was so incensed by pestering that I retorted something to the effect of ‘get lost’ …he responded saying that I shouldn’t be getting so uppity and thinking I’m too good for him. I told him, in essence, to fuck off and get a life as I certainly can and have done better than him. I told him to stop txting as I had better things to do than be annoyed by him. I turned off my cell willing myself not to read his nasty response when it came, which never happened. Maybe this is finally over. I was considering getting his number blocked.

Just shows how dumb I can be. Friends for life with some of the best guys around, I never once imagined that other guys weren’t like them. Yea, they’ve told me over and over to be careful. I’ve found it hilarious how they freak about their little sisters dating “because I know what guys are like. I know what they’re really thinking.” ha. I just counted it as one of their paranoias. Come on kids, I know what they’re thinking too. Who cares? …wow. well I think I finally found the assholes they always warn me about - the ones with only one thing on their mind. I’ve never cared if all they ever think about is sex. I’ve just never been pressured so much from a one-(okay two)-night-stand. ridic

Paranoia & Bad Decisions

I am. crazy huh?

Not to sound particularly self-absorbed, but I get calls all the time from friends in the city to go out and friends not here to say they miss me and plan to meet up soon. Yet, whenever I go out with any of them I take my roommate or bff of the moment. Half the time I’m annoyed they’re there. I only do it because I know how well these superoutgoing bffs get along with all my other friends… This way even if no one there likes me (then why did they call?) at least everyone but me will have fun.

ridiculous huh? Been this way since I was a kid. I would even introduce people knowing that there was a chance they’d ditch me to hangout. Paranoid that they would.

Even now, my roommate’s cell goes off and I’m sitting her jealous that no one calls/txts me… and my cell has been busy on/off all nite. so ridic…its pathetic. sweet.

Bad Decisions

Good Lord I know I make bad decisions. I do it all the time. I know deep down that making out with a random guy in a bar when trashed will not fulfill my need for emotional intimacy.  But I do it anyway. However, aside from the jabs of a few less shit brained friends, it’s never come back to bite me.  Until now. Me, the shitfaced newbie to the city, am ever trusting and always up for a good time and new adventure. So when I go home with a guy so pissed drunk that I dont realize he expects something… I figure ‘hey, why not? can’t hurt anyone.’ and give him a bj. And then when it happens again on another occasion… with the same guy… oops. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Lucky me, the fucker txts alot now.  “hey what u up to?” (nothing) which leads into “lets hang out” (no) and then to “come over and let’s fuck” (never). Seriously. The kid never gets the hint. I WAS DRUNK. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. He’s txting me now - hence why I’m up at 2am. I tell him to fuck off. He says come over and we will. I says stop txting because it wont happen ever again. He says we’ll see. Oi. Fucker. You were hot but now… you’re just fuckin horny mistake. Shit that. I can do better.

Mind the Gap

Since there’s so much that’s happened since May I think I’d better throw some information at my nonreaders. Here’s to filling you in! Cheers!

May:

• Graduated from college
• Continued searching for job

June:

• Ditched Patriots. He was far more commitment oriented than me. Good for him, as he’s having a baby in a week or so with his ex-girlfriend. (yes, I knew this at the time)
• Moved to the city with childhood best friend

July:

• Got job in Marketing!!! Pays well, in my field, workload is decent.
• Paying bills & getting hangovers
• Macked on friend of a friend. Twice. Valedictorian, future surgeon, and total ass

August:

• Bought a car. The Rabbit. Isn’t she pretty?
• Macked on friend of a friend after a baseball game… now he’s awkward around me. I don’t even remember it. My bad.
• Studying Hinduism just because I want to. It’s all the same in the end - all these religions. Just different ways of getting there.

So that’s just about the whole summer with maybe a few drunken nights filling in the unwritten.